#64 Crazy Stalkers

 

 

 Ever have the feeling that you’re being watched? I certainly do.

Twelve shiny eyes seem to follow me around the house, wherever I go. Even if I close a door behind me, pink jellybean toes reach for me as high pitched voices cry out in anguish at my absence.

In short, I have a band of personal stalkers.

Some days, I grant you, the attention is nice. The writing life can be lonely at times and weeks can go by when I don’t really interact with actual warm blooded types without making a concerted effort to do so. My personal stakers remind me that there is life beyond the keyboard and I really ought to take part in it. That part I really appreciate.

But–and you knew that part was coming–it isn’t all furry-purries and cuddles. No my stalkers can be incredibly demanding.

To start with, they all have an uncanny sense of time. Although they cannot actually tell time–but then again I’m not positive about that as I’ve never actually seen them stare at a clock and walk away looking puzzled–they always know  breakfast and dinner time. We might be in the middle of a hurricane, without power and worried about evacuating, but ‘fooding time’ is sacred.

They start gathering about an hour ahead, stationing a sentinel at the door to make sure they can’t possibly miss an important move toward the fooding station. Half an hour before, all of them gather, circling stalkers who will not be deterred. Dinner time (in particular) is far too important to miss. I think they don’t even blink during that half hour.

I wonder if our fingers twitch in anticipation of opening cans. Whatever the sign, the astute students of body language that is our band of stalkers bolt into action when dinner is imminent, following as surely as a great cat after a gazelle, not to be denied.

With all that effort, one would think our band of stalkers must be emaciated and near starviing. One would be wrong, most definitely wrong.  I don’t think anyone of them has missed a meal since coming into our company and at least one of them looks like he’s scrounged up a few extra somehow.  No one is going hungry around here for sure.

But try to tell the stalkers that and they will inform you, that may be the case, but you really don’t understand. Dinner is definitely worth stalking for!