When a schoolgirl returned home from her tenure at boarding school, she was ready for her next stage in life. Her school samplers might be displayed prominently in the house as proof she had gone to school as Gillray suggest in his caricature.

At this point, most girls would pursue their socially accept goal of marriage. The process would begin with making her come out. Although sometime between sixteen and eighteen was common.  The exact timing might vary depending on the status of other siblings, especially sisters. There was no hard and fast rule that a family have only one daughter ‘out’ at a time. For practical considerations, though, it was a common practice.

Being ‘out’ demanded financial resources and the assistance of friends and connections to extend invitations and make introductions. New, fashionable dresses were necessary to make the proper impressions. Subscriptions to balls and tickets to social events had to be purchased.  A family with several daughters might easily be spread too thin if more than one girl were out at once.  

The Problem of Younger Sisters

Having several daughters out at once also offered the embarrassing possibility that a younger daughter might be married before the elder. This would put the younger sister in a socially superior position to her elders. Married women were always above the unmarried. Needless to say, this could be extremely awkward. In Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Lydia Wickham drove this point home when she insisted Jane go lower because she(Lydia) was now a married woman. Gotta love little sisters, right? 

Consequently, younger sisters often waited until the elder was at least engaged, if not married, before coming out.  This also gave family and friends a chance to recover from the experience and finances had time to improve before starting all over again.

Sometimes, though,  when an elder daughter had several seasons out without an engagement, the girl would be considered ‘on the shelf.’ Some mothers, feeling their girls had been a little “too long on the vine” have been known to unpick the date on the sampler, to be able to pass the daughter off as some years younger than she actually was. Parents might allow a younger sister to try her luck on the marriage market when hope had run out for the elder one..

How to ‘come out’

There was no single established way for a young woman to make her come out. Girls in the highest levels of society might come out during the London season. She could anticipate a ball in her honor and an official presentation at court to the sovereign. Court presentation required a sponsor and a very specific (and expensive) presentation gown and accessories. A whirlwind of society events would follow, all in the hopes of attracting the notice of the right sort of gentleman. This would include girls like Georgiana Darcy and Anne de Bourgh (had her health allowed of course.)

Girls in lower social strata came out with somewhat less pomp and circumstance (and expense). Her parents might plan a ball or party in her honor. In Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park, Fanny Price’s uncle held a ball in her honor marking her coming out.

A major event was not necessary, though. A mother might simply allow a girl to pinup her hair and accompany her on her morning calls and social events to indicate she was out. It seems like this would have been the way Lydia Bennet would have come out. Jane, and maybe even Elizabeth, might have had parties in their honor. By the time they got down to the younger girls, taking the easy might have just won out.  

At these events, parents, friends and acquaintances would essentially show her off to potential suitors. It was in society’s best interest that she be married off to a suitable young man.

If an educated young lady did not enjoy that happy fate, then she, like Austen’s Jane Fairfax would seek employment, most likely as a governess, lady’s companion, or a teacher.

So what did you think of this series on girls’ education. Is it what you expected? Tell me in the comments.

Click here to read more about Regency Era education

Click here to read more about accomplishments in the Regency Era.

Click here to read more about Ladies in the Regency Era.

Click here to go to the Regency Index.

References

Baird, Rosemary. Mistress of the House, Great Ladies and Grand Houses. Phoenix (2003)

Collins, Irene . Jane Austen, The Parson’s Daughter Hambledon (1998) 

Collins, Irene . Jane Austen & the Clergy The Hambledon Press (2002)

Davidoff, Leonore & Hall, Catherine. Family Fortunes: Men and Women of the English Middle Class 1780-1850 Routledge (2002)

The Female Preceptor. Essays On The Duties Of The Female Sex, Conducted By A Lady. 1813 and 1814

Fullerton, Susannah. Jane Austen & Crime JASA Press (2004)

Harvey, A. D. Sex in Georgian England Phoenix Press (1994)

Ives, Susanna Educating Your Daughters – A Guide to English Boarding Schools in 1814, March, 10 2013.  

Jones, Hazel. Jane Austen & Marriage Continuum Books (2009)

Lane, Maggie. Jane Austen’s World Carlton Books (2005)

Laudermilk, Sharon & Hamlin, Teresa L. The Regency Companion Garland Publishing (1989)

Le Faye, Deirdre. Jane Austen: The World of Her Novels Harry N. Abrams (2002)

Martin, Joanna. Wives and Daughters Hambledon Continuum (2004)

Murden, Sarah. Education, Education , Education—for Girls in the Georgian Era. All things Georgian. November 21, 2022. Accessed June 27, 2024. ttps://georgianera.wordpress.com/2022/11/21/education-education-education-for-girls-in-the-georgian-era/

Selwyn, David. Jane Austen & Leisure The Hambledon Press (1999)

Sullivan, Margaret C. The Jane Austen Handbook Quirk Books (2007)

Watkins, Susan. Jane Austen’s Town and Country Style Rizzoli (1990)

Vickery, Amanda.  The Gentleman’s Daughter. Yale University Press (1998)