#49 Ghost Writers

 Most writers would have you believe that they do their own work. That each precious word on the page came from their own hand. But the ugly truth is that their are ghost writers out there.

No, they don’t run about in white flowing sheets with cut outs for the eyes, yelling ‘boo!’ from behind bookcases. Alright sometimes they do, but not usually. And when they do, they generally scream “Mrowww!” But I digress.

Ghost writers, silently and stealthily come along beside an author and provide words for them, usually in exchange for some precious offering. The run-of-the-mill variety will accept merre money for their words. However,  the uniquely talented ones, the ones with fur and fine tails, they demand greater tribute. 

Tuna.

Catnip mice.

Meox Mix Irresistibles.

Chin skritchies.

That’s what the truly refined and expert ghost writer wants. And if they don’t get them, well then, one might expect their work to be … ah … interrupted until such time as proper payment is offered. If necessary, they will physically interfere with the author’s effort, bodily preventing access to all writing tools if necessary.

Thing is, though, even when they are offered proper tribute, they aren’t necessarily good about following a schedule. If fact they are rather dreadful about it. It doesn’t much to disrupt their schedule. A bug zipping past. A bird in the window. An invisible goblin sitting on their tail. A nap–or six. Any of those can totally turn their schedule inside out. Thus ruining a writer’s plans entirely.

The moral of the story is of course, not to use  ghost writers at all. A writer is better off writing their own words and being responsible for their own schedules. Ones that bugs and birds, catnip and goblins cannot interrupt … Oh look! A shiny…