Birth, Death and another pan of Lemon Brownies
This is a repost of an older post, but it says everything that needs saying right now.
A few things have changed. The youngest son just got his Master’s degree and is gainfully employed. Middle son has also finished is graduate work, moved to CA and transfered back to his company’s office in our home town. The baby refered to in the last post is now in kindergarten with two younger siblings.
The dreaded phone call was to inform my of the sudden, unexpected loss of my mother while we were on vacation. Naturally we dropped everything and headed back. We are currently swimming in the sea of things which have to be done and trying to find the new normal, especially as we anticipate the birth of twin grandbabies literally any time now. These will be grands #4 and 5. So, the details which prompted this post are eerily similar to what things look like right now.
My youngest turned eighteen this week and my grandbaby turned one month old. Time for a family celebration!
My youngest is a low-key kind of kid, so we settled on doing a family luncheon for his birthday. All told that should have been easy—right? No wild party or loud music to disturb the neighbors. The family knows what the house looks like, so I don’t have to clean it within an inch of its life. Make some food, bake something sweet and we should be good to go, right?
I wish.
But no.
First up, when are we going to do this thing? #2 son just moved out for grad school just a week before. What day can he get back to celebrate with us? All right, got the date, check.
What time and how long? Gotta check on the son with the new grandbaby and find out what his schedule looks like. Ok, got that worked out.
How long is another matter, though. Have to check in with the anxious family member to figure out what their endurance is looking like these days. OK, not too much, so plan for them to arrive just in time for lunch and leave after dessert. Can do.
With the ‘when’ firmly in mind, now to plan the food. What to eat?
Back to the phone/email/texts.
Must check in with the two diabetics and the two with GI issues. No red meat, no tomato sauce this week. Fruit plate along with the baked goods. Check.
Oh wait, must have caffeine-free iced tea for the nursing mom and the sleepless relatives, too.
Food is set…no its not. What to bake? Ask son what he wants and I get his usual “White cake because everyone likes it” answer. Sigh. That’s fine for a holiday like Easter or Thanksgiving, but not for his special day. He’s just too nice sometimes. Mom overrules. His favorite Lemon Brownies it is. He smiles and is happy.
One thing done right and we’re in the home stretch.
Need to write myself a note to remember to turn down the AC for the ones who think my house is too-darn-hot (Like anything in East Texas isn’t right now…). And move the cars so the mobility impaired can park in the driveway.
Have I forgotten anything?
I swear, I’m about to lose my mind. Why can’t they just be easy? Sometimes I wonder if all this accommodating isn’t more trouble than it’s worth.
Then the phone call comes.
An out of town family member suddenly, unexpectedly lost their battle with cancer.
There would be one less at the next family reunion. One less to help us celebrate the next wedding. One less Facebook profile filled with photos and stories to share even though distance separates us.
One less preference to worry about accommodating at events.
One less.
And somehow all the hassle to make it easier for one more to attend looks a little more worthwhile.
Because someday there’s going to be one less.
Until then, I don’t want anyone to stay away because they weren’t feeling welcome or special.
So I double check my list and add someone’s favorite corn salad to the menus and get to baking those lemon brownies.
We’re slowing working to find a new normal. I expect it will continue to be a work-in-progress for quite some time. It may just require a second pan of lemon brownies.
Lemon Brownies
- 1 (18 ounce) boxes lemon cake mix
- 1 (3 ounce) packages lemon gelatin
- 1/2 cup cooking oil
- 3 eggs
- 1 cup icing sugar
- 1/2 cup lemon juice
Directions: Grease and flour a 13″ X 9″ pan.Preheat oven to 325°F Beat together the dry cake mix, dry Jello powder, oil, and eggs. Pour into the prepared pan. Bake at 325F for 25 to 30 minutes or until done. (They take a little longer in a glass pan.) Remove from oven and punch holes all over the cake with a toothpick. Combine icing sugar and lemon juice until smooth. Spoon over cake. Cool and cut into squares.
Corn bread and pinto beans. Corn bread baked in the cast iron skillet that I inherited from mother (now deceased 2014) and dried beans that no matter how I try I cannot cook like Mother did. Sister is the only one that can do that.
Maria Grace, I’m so sorry about your mother. I hope you and yours are hanging in there. I’m glad you can find some solace in all the ways your children and grandchildren are thriving, and thank you for sharing the lemon bars recipe (dessert certainly being a form of comfort in challenging times). All the best, Christina
Also, I just realized that I didn’t answer your parting question: tea and chocolate are always my comfort go-tos. I’ll about caffeine and minimal preparation… 🙂
My deepest sympathies on the sudden loss of your mother. Tea, chocolate, *and* lemon brownies are all called for, for comfort. At least we are not like those with no hope, and you can look forward to being reunited some day in heaven.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum! Hopefully your memories will help.
When I used to bake I made a lemon drizzle cake which sounds similar. It was a super easy recipe and is now made by my daughter, my daughter-in-law and my sister-in-law!
My go to comfort is a cup of Earl Grey tea and a stem ginger cookie!
I am sad to hear of your mother’s sudden and unexpected death. Will add my prayers to yours as you mourn and find another new normal.
Thank you for posting how to bake lemon drizzle cake and picture of the small gap in the cake and author emerging from the gap and the adorable looking dragon.
My comfort is chocolate biscuit and weak Earl Grey tea and hugs from loved ones.
Thank you for this post. My mother passed away this year on Mother’s Day and we are in the throes of all that needs to be done when someone passes. I have been thinking about the “one less” at the reunions, events, etc. It is a bit off putting to think about one of the mainstays missing from the events. But uplifting to think about all who will be joining in the future. Mom was the one who always hosted thoes things – always welcoming anyone and everyone no matter what. She was also the one who provided the best comfort food for us — chocolate chip cookies. They are my go to always – even present at her celebration of life. Thanks again for this post.