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Remembering What I Don’t Know — 7 Comments

  1. There is a good deal of wisdom in this post. I recall an event when I was rather well known as a prosecutor of crimes against children, especially sexual assaults committed against prepubescent boys. Thanks to some people with special expertise at theSan Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department’s CrimesAgainst Children unit, and the educational opportunities offered by theCalifornia District Attorney’s Association, I was constantly surprised of how much I did not know. Then I began to measure profiles of victims against the behavior of my wonderful husband.My first response was.Naw!, and my second was “What if?”
    My law enforcement mentor, a nationally recognized expert, suggested, of all things, a book–Wounded Boys,Heroic Men.”Don’t’ say anything. Just throw it on the coffee table and wait. And then I knew. It was perhaps the most significant,but only one example of things I thought I knew but didn’t, wished I know sooner, and was better off for having the knowledge.

  2. So now we have a specific name for the utter stupidity of Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine…and, at times, Emma as well. 😉

    I tend to be a rather reserved person, so I usually end up listening for what else is going on because of my shyness . . . although I often make snap judgments in my mind. I would love to have the same listening mindset so that I don’t even *think* those snarky asides. But that will take a lifetime of self-control and grace…. 😉

    Thanks for a thought-provoking post!

    Warmly,
    Susanne 🙂

  3. These types of leaps to judgment of people and their situations can be very unpleasant, but I interpreted the point a little differently. A recent incident in our lives illustrates:

    Last year we bought a used car. The dealer told us that the former owner had turned in only one key. Well, the car was good and the price very favourable so we bought it. What we didn’t know that we didn’t know at the time has since come back to haunt us. First, it is apparently common practice for dealers to keep a key for all used cars they sell. Second, the key to our car is electronic and dealerships wants $350 to copy and program it.

    It never occurred to us that we, amongst others, were being scammed. I mean, who thinks about keys when you’re buying a car? We have since done a great deal of research and discovered: First, tell the dealer that if they don’t give you two keys you’re not buying the car, and be prepared to walk away. Insist that they give you all the existing keys or at minimum cut you a second key. A couple of our friends have told us that this proved quite successful. Second, you can buy a key blank, get it cut, and program it yourself (thank you WWW!) for about $60.

    Not knowing what we did not know (and have since learned) has cost us considerable aggravation as well as time to resolve. Knowing then what we know now would have enabled us to make smarter choices, but we didn’t even know that we didn’t know it.

    Many thanks for a thoughtful post, Maria, and — having had food poisoning far too many times — I sure hope your kidlet is back to normal very soon.

  4. Yikes, so sorry to hear that your son is going through this. I’ve given myself food poisoning before by eating turkey that had been in the fridge too long (and I didn’t even have a power outtage to blame), but it sounds like he is having a rougher go of it than I did. As for my own “learning how much I don’t know” I suppose you can guess – writing a blog and keeping it going and doing all the little tech things one never expects.

  5. I have nothing profound (or even useful) on this subject, but the title and the illustrations brought me back to my childhood. My mother used to say “What you don’t know could fill a book!” I was 30 before I thought of the perfect comeback. “Just one?”

  6. What a wonderful post, Grace. I usually mutter ny frustrations under my breath because I have, in the past, opened mouth and inserted foot.

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